I never wanted to think about the reality of life without my father around. But this is inevitable if we go through the normal course of life. I never realized how fortunate I was to even have a father I could identify, much less actually have a relationship with him, until I was much older. So many people don’t have that. I’m grateful that I did. My pop was awesome. If my dad had a baseball career that paralleled his aptitude for fathering he would have been Babe Ruth…or Hank Aaron. The home run king of fatherhood. And though far from perfect my pop taught me a few very valuable life lessons not by telling me what to do. But by what he modeled. As they say, your kids will hear what you say, but ultimately they will do what you do.
There are many things I wish I’d said to my dad while he was alive. But I just never knew how. Fortunately the words “I love you” weren’t among those lost words. My father and I showed our love, both, with word and action. But,still, I wish I could have allowed my mouth to say more of what my heart needed to communicate to him. My dad is my hero.
I have often been slow at figuring out what I needed to say to people. Words would avoid entering my brain until my emotions could be sorted out into something that could be verbally expressed with some clarity.
But then other times I have no problem expressing myself. My pop was everything we learn not to believe in when we grow up. He was Super-man, Santa claus, the Easter Bunny etc..all rolled into one extremely generous, and kind, family oriented man.
I have learned from his successes and his mistakes. Over the years. I watched a man of often few words slowly learn how to communicate to people he loved. Once he just started talking to me about this Mike and The Mechanics song “the Living Years”. It was totally out of the blue..that was years ago….he talked about letting people know how you feel while their still around to hear it. And I watched him in the following years do his best to do that as difficult as it was for him at times.
I’m kind of just rambling now. But I will share this because maybe someone else has felt what I’m feeling right now. Maybe someone else will feel these feelings at a later time. We all need each other. So a hope that my sharing blesses you. Enjoy the video. this song speaks to me..and I can’t get it out of my head anyway. So I may as well share it with you. This is likely just the first of , a few entries about my dad. I invite you to return if there is something here that blesses you. peace
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
– Mary Elizabeth Frye
I truly understand and feel the many feelings I know you are experiencing and will be for a lifetime. Yes, they’ll change from time to time but yet still be there. The initial pain will leave through the grace of God and the memories will live forever. This is just a beautiful song and carry much for me also. Thanks!
Junior Fluker
Dude,
thanks for sharing. That’s beautiful. I’m gonna have that song in my head all day today also.
And I’m gonna send my dad a note.
see you soon
Len
Again, All eye can say, my BROTHER is that EYE LOVE U.
Your eloquence and vulnerability, coupled with what an amazing man you are speaks volumes of what kind of man your pop was. I wish I had the honor of meeting him. I am grateful to know you, however — My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Hold them close and cherish every moment.
“The Living Years” always made me cry — this time is no exception. I miss you my friend.
God Bless.
David,
What a wonderful sentiment and testimony to the man who brought you into the world. I have never met your father but yet I feel I know of him from knowing you. My heart goes out to you and your family during these sad and painful times. Thanks for sharing, I too like this song.. it was a blessing to read and hopefully a way to help you through these days ahead. I totally understand your pain. I miss my dad as though it was yesterday but the pain is not so deep now. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.
God Bless you and keep you.
David, on behalf of Trisha and I, I would like to offer our deepest sympathies to you and your family. Speaking as one who didn’t have a father growing up I can tell you that it speaks to the type of man that you are – that you realize how fortunate you were to have such a loving father. As you know, I was not fortunate enough to meet him, but from what I’ve read, he was truly a great man and I suspect that’s why you have so much integrity and such a strong moral compass. Something all too rare in this world. I know that there is nothing that we could possibly say to ease the pain that you must be feeling right now, but I hope that you can take some comfort in the fact that by raising you to be the man that you are he has left the world a better place. We should all be so fortunate.
Our hearts are with you.
Mike and Trisha
Dear David,
You are the product of wonderful parents and your spirit allows the living years to continue. Thank you for this tribute. Bless you and your family. My prayers are there for you. Jane
David, Your heartfelt tribute to your father is beautiful. Hopefully you will find some comfort in the knowledge that you have grown to be a man your father would be proud of, and in the fact that he will always live in your heart.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Linda
David, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and of your dad. I didn’t know him, but he apparently instilled his qualities in you. May God Bless you and your family. Your in my prayers.
i love your honesty, humility & vulnerability here, David. honored to know you!
Man, this was way too late for me to respond to. I can’t believe it! Although I didn’t know your father for very long, what I will remember is the time he was there when we were roomates and graduating from Berklee. I remember how funny he was!
Anyone who has lost someone dear to them goes through this. It’s been 11 years since my father passed so I know what it’s like. I love you man and am always here for you.
Thanks Dave for sharing,… i havent felt this, but i do not wanna look back someday and know i haven’t fully treasured him when he was still around. It’s not in our family to freely express our love but i will make an effort.